This newsletter topic came from a reader suggestion I received, and it really inspired me, so I asked a few people around me how they stored or displayed their kids’ Art!

While I was writing this, my Instagram algorithm kindly served me this news: Rihanna turned her kids scribble into a Tattoo so I thought you should know that this is also an option.

How do I store my kids Art?

I keep around 1% of my kids’ artwork. As much as I love everything that they make, trust me, I cannot keep it all, they produce a lot. On friday afternoons, as my oldest unpacks his school folder, we flip through it, and he will tell me all about it, what he learned, what he drew, etc. When he is off to bed, I will keep just the one or two drawings that I really like and toss the rest. I write down the date and his description of it.

I keep my favorite drawings in these colorful Hay boxes and the larger ones in a classic Canson drawing folder; I have one per kid. When they get full, I do another pass at it and trash some more. This is the easiest way for me to store everything while I think about what to do with it.

I keep the most meaningful ones: the first time they draw a representation of something, which is around three years old, my portrait for Mother’s Day, and all his birthdays and Santa wishlists that are gold.

How does everyone else store or display their kids Art

1- In the Trash! Make sure they don’t see it, or they will complain and want to take it back. It’s a secret! :)

3- Tape it directly to the wall: It seems this is the most popular option. Hang it right there where you can see it. You can use this magic European sticky paste if you want an invisible look. I let my children hang whatever they want on their bedroom wall, and they usually like to rotate artwork themselves.

has made a full wall in her kitchen nook, and has a great wall display too.

3- Frame it! It’s fun to collect vintage, affordable frames at flea markets, goodwill or garage sales.

4- Digitize it and make it into a book. My mom made a book for me a few years ago. It is nice, but it’s quite some work to make and personally I think a lot of details and colors get lost, like the brushstrokes, etc.

5- Photo Scrapbooks. I like the idea of making it into a photo album; you can write the dates and add a description. It’s a meaningful and fun project that doesn’t require any digitizing. On a chic, large-sized album or a Japanese Washi paper cover album.

6- Shadow Boxes for the small 3D art. This is a good option if you have voluminous work.

7- Cork boards on the inside of a door closet. Brilliant idea if you want to keep your house clean. It can be a transitional place and you can still look at it everyday and smile.

8 - Pin it on a fancy fabric ribbon board: This is a typical item in traditional French bourgeois interiors. Families will pin recent things such as invitations, mail, holiday cards, and their kids’ art, usually in the hallway where coats and shoes are store, also sometimes in their bedrooms or office. There are many different types, and you can customize your ribbons and fabric.

9- In a large transparent binder. This is also a great idea to keep all the flat drawings in one place until you decide what to do with them. They are well protected, and you can label them per year.

10- On the Fridge: It works if you have a big fridge. And it’s a good excuse to collect fun magnets as souvenirs from your travels around the world. A weird horse cookie magnet + my kids’ favorite Japanese animal clips.

11 - Displayed on a shelf like expensive Art: Walker Hart’s mom kept every piece that her kids made and turned a room into a museum. Every time I visit, I am in awe. I love this room, it’s pure happiness to me.

12- Wire-and-clips display system. Hang twine or wire with mini clothespins. They can hang it easily themselves and rotate it as they wish.

Did I miss anything? Hope you found a little inspiration and please share any ideas you have. I ll’ leave you with a little music this week, an artist I found recently Tango, from Akofa Akoussah.

Much Love,

xxx

Marina

In case you missed:

As my kids grow, I’ve learned that simplifying is not only better for them, but also one of the keys to enjoying motherhood and realize how true “less is more” is.

What children really need to thrive is quite simple: unstructured play, time outside, nutritious food, laughter, seeing their friends, a safe space to share their feelings, and a daily slice of our undivided attention.

I read an great article comparing the European way of living to Americans. While there are many cultural differences and many aspects of Europe I miss, you can also choose to enjoy a similar simpler lifestyle here in the US: walk a little every day, live in a regular-sized home, ride a bike, limit processed foods, consume less, avoid screens, shop local, build community in your neighborhood, and visit public swimming pools and libraries.

Ultimately, how you decide to live and raise your kids comes down to personal choices, values, and your own family culture, no matter where you are in the world.

What makes my life sweeter so I can be a better mom?

Solo time weekly; swimming laps (at the public pool down the street) or a walk in a forest is deeply restorative to me, especially when I am exhausted. Meaningful conversations with friends and listening to music from the 90’s or the best radio in California 88.5.

Might not be revolutionary, but I found that the best thing I could do for my nervous system was to multitask less and just be present when I am with the kids, not always easy, but I’m trying my best.

And finally, it seems we came to an agreement that we are all way too addicted to our phones and it might be time to break free: “Trying to get to the heart of what it means to live a full life”. I recently deleted all the social media apps from my phone for a few weeks, and I’ve felt so much more focused, relaxed, and inspired. I’ ll be taking regular long breaks.

What makes my kids life sweeter?

A nature walk after school

The highlight of our week, as the sun sets later, is taking a walk after school, either all together or just with one child.

Truth is that walking to school isn’t very common here, as the distances are longer. But a mom at drop off inspired me to try. She lives down the hill too and started to walk her kids to school everyday from age 5. It takes me 30 minutes to go up ( a good workout) and about 40 minutes and a few snacks, to come back down with a preschooler. I only do it at pick up on Fridays, when there is more time.

We spend one-on-one time, he tells me about his day, and has my full attention. He picks a few flowers along the way and goes to bed feeling the good kind of tired and happy.

Morning drawing

A friend asked me recently how to get his kids to draw more as they didn’t seem very interested. My advice is to never force any activity on a child. Instead, make it accessible. Having a bucket of colored pencils and a stack of paper on the table is great. One day, they might just pick it up on their own and enjoy it.

Children tend to mimic what we do. If you draw yourself, they might become curious. What was once my ritual slowly became their ritual too. Somewhere between breakfast and getting dressed, we all sit and draw for 10 minutes, most mornings.

It could be reading if that’s your thing, or meditating, or working out, just something simple and enjoyable to start the day with.

Celebrate Simple

One other thing I’ve learned with time is that we really need to simplify all celebrations.

It’s almost Easter, and this year I’m coming back to the basics: naturally dyeing hard-boiled eggs with the kids, hiding a few chocolate eggs in the garden on Sunday morning, roasting a simple chicken… and that’s it.

And maybe we can put these colorful eggs on a fun mid-century wooden devil egg dish or a hand-painted one and eat them!

Three lights

We have been reading this beautifully illustrated chapter book by Maria Ramos, a story about three stars that fell from the sky. They meet new friends who take good care of them and live many fun adventures.

Is it me or my kids who enjoy reading it the most? It’s unclear.

A breakfast plate buffet

Since starting elementary school, our mornings have become a bit more rushed. Making breakfast takes time, and they each want something different: cold milk, lukewarm milk, this type of cereal, toast, but not too toasted. Everyone gets a little grumpy, me included.

Then I thought of making one big plate with different options so they could each pick what they liked. Game changer. (At least for a few weeks.)

Every morning, I switch it up, and they love both the surprise and the freedom to choose. It’s fun for them, and it takes me less than five minutes to put together.

As we have been fighting seasonal sicknesses, we made a lot of soups, and everyone liked this Coconut green ginger soup a lot, which also feels a good one for spring.

What are the things that make your life sweeter? I wanna know.

Much Love,

xxx

Marina

In case you missed:

Raise your hand if you’ve ever felt embarrassed by your kids!

My kids are very energetic, sometimes wild and not always well behaved. They can be the most adorable, reading quietly in a corner for 30 minutes but can also turn into the worst mischievous children pushing every possible boundary. They are 2 and a half and 4 and half for extra context.

A Dinner Fiasco:

We were invited to dinner by our newish friends, who just became parents of two. The kind of friends you naturally click with but still want to make a good impression on.

While the first part of the evening went great, kids were busy doing crafts and playing with the dads while us moms were cooking, sipping our beers, and cuddling the baby. It slowly deteriorated into something totally out of control, and all of us, guests and hosts, felt like the dinner had to end quickly for the sake of everyone’s sanity.

My children did everything you hope yours never will:

• My son did not eat a bite of the wonderful home-cooked meal and said that the food was not good out loud (omg!!)

• They both got up from the table to play countless times and ended up feeding themselves on crackers and cheese from the appetizer platter.

• Started playing with the water dispenser from the fridge, creating a big puddle in the kitchen.

• My daughter decided to take a bite into several apples from the nice bowl on the countertop.

• Then started banging on the window (What?Why?How? I swear they never did that before)

• Thankfully we intercepted a permanent marker just in time.

All while I was trying my best to clean the couscous crumbled off the floor and discipline them the best I could, as they were absolutely not listening to me. Yes, I was mortified, but deep inside, I also wanted to laugh at the absurdity of the scene.

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It took me many social situations to realize how much effort it takes to guide them toward doing things ‘right. Being polite, sitting at the table for the whole meal (according to their age they can only last 10 to 15 minutes), being gentle, sharing and taking turns, no screaming, no this, no that... Even just monitoring the basics is a lot of work if you also want to have 10 minutes of peace to relax and have a chat with your friend.

One of the things that has truly freed me as a parent recently is learning to let go of judgment, towards others and towards myself. It’s never fun when it’s your kid that is setting the bad example, but the truth is, there will always be kids acting better or worse than yours, depending on the day and the situation. It all comes and goes. So many little things can throw everything off (especially at this age), and we all have our own anxieties, rules, and expectations as parents. We will be navigating those differences, and learning from them, for the rest of our lives.

Nonetheless, it’s through these uncomfortable situations that I can work on my parenting, and this starts in my own home. That night left me reflecting, not just on their behavior, but on my own expectations.

Next Time, I’ll Be Smarter.

You live and learn. Sometimes I have high expectations for my kids, but I don’t always set them up for success. That dinner happened the day after Halloween, after a morning birthday party, way too much sugar, and no nap. The perfect cocktail for a catastrophic evening. So I reflected on how I could help them, beyond just working on good manners.

My New Rules:

• Setup clear expectations. It had never crossed my mind, until that day, to clearly explain what I expected before visiting someone else’s house, though it makes perfect sense. How are they supposed to know what they can and cannot do if I don’t tell them?

• Attend only one social thing per day (one birthday, one lunch, one dinner, or one friends hangout).

• Limit sugar intake if you don’t want to risk them going wild.

• Make sure they are well rested, hydrated, and not “hangry” before arriving somewhere.

• Trust your instincts and just cancel, even last minute if you think that they are too tired/ high wired and you fear it will be unpleasant for everyone. Or consider splitting teams and attend solo with one child. I went for it recently and it was the right move.

Additional Resources:

Parenting keeps humbling me, but it’s also teaching me to meet the chaos with a sense of humor. Is parenting going to be a big work in progress, forever? Yes. Here are some articles I read on the topic:

Kids table manners: Some advice straight from UK

Teach your child how to behave when visiting other people’s homes: “Avoid collateral damage”

My house, my rules: Interesting perspective ”The issue isn’t the kids and their personalities, birth order, or needs. Kids are kids, right? The problem is when my friend would come over, bring her kids, and let them do whatever they wanted.”

And if you missed it, here is a post I wrote about hosting with small kids:

Feel free to share your most embarrassing moments. I am here for you and completely judgment-free.

A Raspberry-Apple Crumble

This is the crumble we brought that night to our friend’s house. We almost didn’t get to eat it, but I’m glad we had a few bites before taking our “tornados” back home because it was my first time making it and I’ll make it again. It’s inspired by a French recipe.

Ingredients:

• 150g unsalted butter

• 150 g flour

• 100 g white sugar

• 5 apples (I used green apples but you can use any kind)

• 1 bag frozen mixed berries (1 pound) I used only raspberries but any berries works.

• 30 g brown sugar

Recipe:

• Preheat the oven to 400°F

• Peel the apples and cut them into large pieces. Place the berries in a strainer and set aside.

• In a mixing bowl, combine the flour, sugar, and almond flour. Add the butter cut into small pieces. Using your fingers, crumble the mixture until it resembles coarse crumbs (don’t make it too fine, or it will lose its crunch).

• Arrange the apples in a baking dish, then evenly distribute the berries over them. Sprinkle with the rest of butter, brown sugar, and cinnamon. Spread the crumble mixture on top, covering the fruit completely. Sprinkle again lightly with brown sugar and cinnamon.

• Bake for about 30 to 40 minutes. Keep an eye on and extend time as needed, it should be nicely browned (even if it looks a bit burnt in spots)

Enjoy cold or warm with some heavy cream or greek yogurt on the side.

This last month has been a wild blur of things to do, places to be, people to see, and sugar to eat. I cannot wait for a soft and cosy winter weekend, my favorite. When the kids are perfectly happy scooting around the block, making a puzzle, eating toast with jam while listening to music and just being with us.

I hope you also get to cancel a bunch of planned things and enjoy some well deserved time-off.

Much Love,

xxx

Marina

More parenting subjects:

Over Labor Day weekend, we went camping with friends, four adults and four happy little campers who had been waiting all day for s’mores. We decided to head to the beach, and while I was circling for parking, a chipmunk suddenly ran under my wheels. I gasped, closed my eyes, and prayed he was faster. But no, I got him.

The worst part is that it wasn’t a quick and painless death. He crawled back to the other side of the road where he came from, and our friends, driving behind us in their van, saw everything… including all the kids glued to the window. I wanted to disappear into the universe. I felt like the worst person in the world.

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That day will probably haunt me forever, and I couldn't bring myself to tell the truth but I tried to make peace with it by paying tribute to our brave chip chip and made a tiny storyboard for the kids, turning a tragic moment into a story about courage, kindness, and road safety. ❤️

On grief and death:

• Recently, our kids’ school lost its mascot, a chicken named BunnyKat. They sent us this on how to talk to children about death. I think it could be helpful for any parent navigating this delicate topic.

• On this beautiful post shares a book, dead bird that also speaks to children about loss.

It’s Spooky and Soup Season!

There are only two weekends until Halloween! If you need fun costume inspiration, it’s also Charlotte’s favorite holiday, and she was my first Super Mom interview.

Last year, I drove around town with a banana and a mushroom in my rear seat. This year, I suggested we would be a Pirate family for Halloween, and everyone got excited. My daughter requested to be the boat, but now she wants to be a shark, my son wanted to be a Pirate and now wants to be a jellyfish…I will wear a big-sleeved romantic blouse and a silk scarf on my head (easy) And we have been saving every toilet paper roll to make cute parrots while listening to our favorite song.

I’ve always taken my kids trick-or-treating, even when they were little. I didn’t grow up with this tradition back home, so it’s just as fun for me as it is for them. But of course, I don’t let them eat all the candy. They know that the “Halloween Spider Fairy” will visit and swap the bad candy for a few good treats and lollipops, and they are fine with it, (for now)!

A Treasure Box

The other day at breakfast, my two-year old found her brother’s treasure box on the table. (We like to decorate them with shells or gems stickers and they play with these a lot.) She started looking at all his marbles as he was already off at school. While I was not paying attention, she hid all of them in her Bluey car, hoping it would go unnoticed. When my son returned from school, we looked for the displaced marbles for 30 minutes until she finally agreed to tell us where the treasure was :) This morning, the finger skateboard disappeared…another day, another drama.

How to brush your daughters hair?

I remember my mom chasing me as a child across our apartment in Paris with her fancy Mason Pearson boar hair brush, laughing, “Come back!” Then she’d poke my butt cheeks with the brush to prove it was just a little pic-pic. Cruel or cute? Anyway… here I am, right there with her now.

Brushing my daughter’s hair is a pain; she hates it, and I hate it too. I don’t even brush my own hair every day because it’s curly, and honestly, it doesn’t look good when I do. But even though it’s not pleasant, I make the effort to brush hers (most days). My mom always said our hair needs to “breathe” to stay healthy, and I think she might be right.

My scream-free technique: I have two small brushes: a soft one for babies and a travel-sized one for ladies. I let her choose her clips or elastics, and alternate a soft stroke with a “pic” stroke. When I am not rushing out the door, I’ll bring her doll into the game (it happened once). Any fun tricks to share with us?

Happy Spooky month to you 👻 Drop your family costumes ideas in the comments!

Much Love,

xxx
Marina

Lately, I have been thinking so deeply about the secret sauce of being calm, centered, and PATIENT since I became a parent. My struggle and the skill that I keep learning every day. How do I set healthy boundaries with my children, learn my own limits and how do I regulate myself?

I have never been the patient kind, and now that I have to model it for my kids, it’s hard. Finally, at 39 I have everything I spent my life impatiently working for…I don’t take anything for granted, I enjoy (almost) every second of it, and yet sometimes I still catch myself being impatient. I am here, guilty, and learning along with my kids!

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When Mornings Feel Like Emotional Lottery

“Some mornings are soft and blissfully nice and some are really not cool. Here’s a snapshot from a particularly wild weekend morning.”

It’s Saturday morning, my husband went running, and I wake up to a double toddler screams—on one side of the room, “I’m huuungryyy!” and on the other, “Mama, hug!” My head is still foggy. I wonder what my cortisol levels are in moments like these.

I drag my sleepy self to the kitchen, trying to satisfy their immediate needs, all while questioning: What am I doing wrong? I stumbled into the kitchen, put water in the electric boiler, and turned on the stove instead of placing it back on its base. As I chased two tiny monsters fighting over the last banana around the kitchen counter I suddenly noticed flames coming up the very fancy boiler. S***. This is it. There has got to be a better way to start the day.

So, I sat down with my son and said, “Ok, let’s start over this day. I started googling. Is it normal for a four-year-old to wake up starving and whining? There are plenty of answers, but I picked a few that seem to fit us best. I start explaining to my toddler: “The expert here says you might be thirsty? He drank. Are you tired? Yes. Tomorrow, we’ll try to wait until you’re calm before breakfast - Ok!

From that day, I made sure to do everything in my power to ensure our mornings were much softer. Not sure how we did it, maybe a combination of time, growth, moving slower and boundaries. They are now able to wait (most days) until we can emerge properly.

Patience Management Tool Box For Parents:

Things I have learned along the way and things I was recommended to do by “real experts”!

• Empathy: Making sure I remember I am the adult and that they need my help to process their emotions. I am still learning everyday to sit in the discomfort. Telling them “Yes it’s hard. I get it, and I am right here with you” is simple but goes a long way. We all want a mom that gets it!

• Have zero expectations: The day I understood I wouldn’t get everything done when I am home with the kids, but instead chose to be present and available, my life changed for the best.

• Hugging: My favorite tool that I use to regulate myself. I get down and hug them, and my big dark impatient cloud makes space for sunshine.

• Singing: I wish I would remember to do this more often when I feel overwhelmed, right before I sense the urge to scream. They are so surprised and the fussy energy is transformed into something positive.

• Self-regulation: Ask for help, get fresh air, take a walk, sit in silence, find some peace and emptiness. Carve out pockets of time to recharge your patience battery.

• Walking away: I do “fake walk away” when my kids don’t want to leave a place or get in the car because I get so impatient…And I learned recently (actually researching for this piece) that it is not great for them as they can feel abandoned especially when they are younger! But sometimes walking away is okay and your best option.

Patience Management Tool Box For Kids:

• Offer options: When they refuse to do something I give them a few options and honestly it does work out 98% of the time.

• Reshift the energy: Whenever I sense my kid’s energy is going in the wrong direction, especially during any transition, I try to redirect their attention to small details around us. Look… at the flower, listen…to the truck outside, go get your toy…Let’s play a game!

• Involve them with cleaning and cooking: I give them anything to peel or chop even if it’s just to play. I will cut raw veggies and cheese quickly while they wait if they are starving.

• Try not to anticipate time! I have learned this the hard way because kids don’t experience time like we do. We are going to get ice cream this weekend, yay!! And just like that I opened the whining Pandora box…

• Give attention during hard times: When a child is asking repeatedly for something and is not flexible about options, I found that if I try to ignore it, it escalates, and then I end up screaming because I can’t take it anymore. Getting curious about what they need, asking questions and explaining why has helped.

• Playing board games: From two to three years old they start to understand rules and can wait to take turns, it is a great way to teach patience. Moulin Roty has great family games and memory games. Puzzles are also great and most recently we got gifted Zingo, that we love!

• Delay gratification. Let’s wait a few more minutes. Let’s pay first. Let’s wait until we are at the park…

• Positive reinforcement when patience is met.

  

Reading to Learn Focus

Reading develops cognitive patience: “The ability to focus on a text for an extended period, delay gratification by resisting the urge to multitask”. My son especially is a big reader, his sister is following him closely and nothing makes me happier.

Five books that have been on our top chart this past year:

• Angelina Ballerina: A story about chasing and realizing your dreams.

• Chirri and Chirra: A pure magical fantasy world.

• The Little Wooden Robot and the Princess Log: A beautiful fairy tale about family and siblings' love.

• Keeping up with Findus: A series of really fun and silly stories between a cat full of energy and an older man. (Great for Grandpa’s!)

• Best Story Book Ever: 300 pages of fun, loving characters, adventures, and life lessons.

Saturday Night Fish Tacos!

A Recipe To Practice Patience While Having Fun

This is my husband's recipe, he makes the tacos while we dance. This is a great one if you have a few friends over. Make your tortillas with a cast iron press if you are ambitious, or not: These flour tortillas are fresh, without additives, and are so good!

Ingredients:

• Tilapia fillet (fresh or frozen)

• Corn from the cob

• Tomatoes

• Avocado

• Micro greens

• Purple cabbage

• Cotija cheese

• Yogurt

• Lime

• Cilantro

• Radish

• Red onions or spring onions (optional)

Recipe:

Make the fish: Season the fish and sprinkle some spices on top, such as paprika or cayenne pepper. Cook the fish in a skillet with olive oil until flaky and golden brown, about 2 minutes on each side.

Make the Sauce: We use greek yogurt to make it lighter + half a lime squeeze + any hot sauce + smoked paprika.

Make the guacamole: smash avocados + one lime squeeze + sea salt

Make the toppings: Shredded Cabbage/ tomatoes thinly chopped/ radish/ corn from the cob/ cilantro/ any micro greens you have.

Make your own tacos and enjoy!

This isn’t a magic formula, patience is a daily practice, but these strategies have helped me to get better at it. Parenting is messy and hard, but there’s a kind of peace that we can achieve when we learn to slow down with our children.

Have a good weekend, as joyful as possible ❤️

Next week’s newsletter will be a special one! The release of a project I’ve been working on, and I can’t wait to finally share it with you. I really hope you’ll love it!

You can also come on here for more Geewees!

Much Love,

xxx

Marina

Last post in case you missed it!

I have three friends giving birth in the next few months so this one is for them ❤️ It is also the most personal letter I wrote so far and if this helps just one mom out there to feel less lonely, it’s already a good enough reason for me to press send…

The day I became a mother 4 years ago, it was a sunny and warm June afternoon, and my son was born in Pasadena, California.

The day I became a mother for the second time, it was the morning of International Women’s Day, March 8th, 2023, my daughter was born in Pasadena, California.

I had two nearly identical births, in the same hospital room, exactly two years apart. Giving birth is the one life experience I’ve had the hardest time wrapping my head around. I wanted to understand how it would unfold, every single step of it, but it was impossible.

At 20 weeks pregnant with my first, I found out I had a rare placenta complication affecting less than 1% of pregnancies. I won’t dive into all the awful things that can come with it, because I was lucky. Everything went well, but I was terrified. No one had answers. We spent weeks calling friends and family, trying to make sense of something completely out of our control.

In addition to that, both times, I developed a rare blood coagulation condition late in pregnancy, that goes away after giving birth, but it meant being induced two weeks early, for safety. I checked into the hospital like it was a hotel, ordered one last meal, and started the meds. I also had to get the epidural early, so I never felt the contractions or pain.

During my first pregnancy, I devoured books about natural birth. When I realized I had no choice but to deliver in a fully medicated environment and knew about the risks of a traumatic birth (1 in 3), I felt like I’d failed before I even started. Those books never told me what I eventually learned: there is no wrong way to bring a baby into the world.

I was really lucky, and both of my births were calm, nothing like the horror stories I had prepared for. Although the second time around, I experienced a really bad reaction to the epidural but the nurses were truly amazing, answering every one of my thousand questions and were here at all times for moral and physical support. Despite hospital classes, which were great information, I still had no clue how to push (tip: drinking coconut water helped me!). But I did it, twice, with the help of my husband as the best coach, and both babies and I were healthy. It was our happy ending to a very uncertain start.

I know it might be unpopular, but I wish we’d stop romanticizing unmedicated home births as “the best”. It’s the best way how you decide to do it and also how you have to do it because sometimes you have no choice.

I believe in balance: modern medicine and intuition, natural when it works, intervention when it’s needed. There is no lesser way, and no mother should feel bad about the way their baby enters the world. At the end, what matters most is that both mother and baby are healthy.

A Family Was Born

I will forever remember the first drive home from the hospital. Strapping this tiny human being in a car seat was a whole adventure, as my husband and I were both learning how to take care of a baby. The most emotional ten minutes of our new life, when you exit a world and enter a new one to which you only have the keys. Tearing up at my husband's gaze in the rearview mirror while listening to this song.

The Love Bubble

A while ago, I went to visit my friend and her 6 week old baby. She was sitting across me on the couch with her sleeping angel baby in her arms and she asked me what did you do all day with your babies when they were this age?

That’s when I realized it was a really happy time for me, not only because I was finally a mom and could enjoy my newborn, but also because it was the first time in the last 16 years that I wasn’t in an office, working! And I finally got to experience the slow life I have always dreamed of.

Sleep and Snuggle

I call it the love bubble. These are the first six weeks when you get to recover physically. You spend most of your day sleeping and snuggling with your baby, losing all sense of time. You just need to ride the wave and rest.

In some countries, this period is treated as sacred; they don’t let you out of bed, which I honestly found a bit depressing. I needed to move, to keep doing the things I loved in some capacity, just to feel like myself.

Movement

The long walks, for me essential to keep my postpartum hormones at bay by getting my daily fresh air and listening to the buzz of life. I started walking just a week after giving birth.

With my first baby, I was full of anxiety, so many rules, especially in the U.S., where parenting can feel intense. Europe is generally more relaxed, and I craved that ease. Funny how things shift with baby number two. Everything felt easier and more enjoyable.

Cooking

I also spent time cooking nutritious postpartum meals because I enjoyed it (but you can delegate this part): lean protein, greens, rice and quinoa and a lot of nuts. Everything fresh and easy to digest, mostly from the farmers market. For sweets, I liked dates, homemade muffins and fresh fruits.

A Love Bubble Day:

• 5–6 am – Early morning feed. Sometimes we’d fall back asleep, sometimes I’d just get up. I loved the quiet of the early mornings.

• 7 am – Breakfast. Usually, a nourishing porridge filled with nuts, seeds, fresh fruit, and a spoonful of yogurt for protein.

• 9 am – Baby’s first nap. This was when I had the most energy. I’d take a shower, make a coffee, read a book, write, paint, or go for a walk. It was my time, and it made all the difference.

• 11 am – Mum time: feeding, changing, caring.

• Noon – Lunchtime, followed by the big nap. I’d swaddle them and settle down, too. I napped for two to three hours. It became an essential part of my recovery.

• 3 pm – Mum time: feeding, changing, caring.

• 5 pm – A shorter walk, 30 minutes. Baby usually napped on the go during this time.

• 6 pm – A slower hour. I’d cook a little, play music, and feed the baby again. Bath time was only once or twice a week in those early days.

• 7 pm – Dinnertime for us and baby happy in the bouncer nearby.

• 9 pm – Bedtime for the baby and for me! I went to bed very early just to get as much rest as I could, I needed it to function properly. I’d still be up two times a night to feed up until 3 months (12 pm and 3 am) they usually fed every 3 hours except when they where cluster feeding which happened a few times.

The Loss of Identity - Postpartum Feelings

I was a really happy mom, still, I experienced a wave of new and contradictory feelings I thought I’d be immune to. They caught me off guard.

The most surprising was not recognizing my face in the mirror. Something had shifted, not just physically, but deep inside. It was an unsettling feeling, like I had changed in a way I couldn’t quite explain.

The second was a feeling of emptiness. It wasn’t sadness, more like the absence of feelings altogether, and that was the hardest part. I remember walking around the neighborhood with my newborn in the stroller, hyper-aware of this void inside me, trying to make sense of it.

It settled in about a month after giving birth, likely brought on by a mix of sleep deprivation, shifting hormones, and the disorienting new reality of time.

Things that have helped me find the way back to myself:

• Creativity, I had to make things with my hands, and cooking counted.

• Sharing an ice-cold beer with friends at sunset.

• Nourish my soul with things I loved, books and art.

• Lunch dates with my husband.

• Lots of sleep and lots of water.

• Any gentle movement: walks, baby yoga, swimming (after 6 weeks)

• Talk about it.

  ---

My Postpartum Tips:

Things I would do again:

• Napping when the baby is napping.

• Follow the baby's natural rhythm and cues instead of a rigid schedule. They will guide you into what they need, which is mainly sleep and eat.

• No blackout shades to distinguish from day to night.

• Putting the baby down on their own, happy, awake or drowsy, in the same room. I never left them alone in another room those first weeks.

• Have 2-3 different comfy places to put them on so I could do things around. A snuggle me on the couch, a bassinet (can be the stroller one) a bouncer, a carrier.

• Cooking and freezing some nutritious soups before giving birth, such as green minestrone or simple chicken soup.

Things I would do differently:

• I would avoid any long family visits for the first 2 weeks. Especially if they are coming from afar (like our parents) and are somewhat guests. I was exhausted and I was really in pain during breastfeeding at the beginning (the famous tranches), so it was hard to have anyone around for a long period of time.

• I would focus on pelvic floor therapy sooner. Not something very popular in the US, but essential in France.

  

My Breastfeeding Experience:

I know it is not always easy, but these are the things I’ve learned.

• It hurts for the first 10 to 15 days. You need a good nipple cream. Every feed was the sharpest pain, both times! Working on the deep latch since the start is key, it will minimize the pain, and the baby will drink more. I have asked the nurses at the hospital, watched videos, and read about it. Yes, it can be really painful but Hang in there, it’s worth it!

• My feeds lasted 10 to 20 minutes. I would unlatch my baby after feeling drowsy and full, or right after falling asleep.

• My goal was to breastfeed for 6 months. It lasted 7 months for the first one and 9 months for my second one, right up until they lost interest naturally, and I didn’t stress about it. I happily switched to an organic European standard formula. There was a little grief, but if they’re happy, I’m happy.

• Breastfeeding is very practical because everything your baby needs is on yourself. So moving and traveling is much easier, you don’t need so much stuff. You can stop anywhere at any time to feed them.

• I pumped the first 3 months in between feeds to make milk stock for when I got back to work. I didn’t do it as much for the second baby, and it was fine. Pumping in addition to breastfeeding is a lot of work and can be stressful especially at the beginning.

• We experienced bottle refusal at 4 months with my daughter. Probably because I was so relaxed with baby number two and introduced it too late, which was really stressful because I had to get back to work soon. We did a little intensive introduction training twice a day, same time to make it a routine, not starving but hungry, no rush, make it fun, happy, sing a song, try different people (she preferred women) and different spots. She eventually felt confident enough after a week and took it. Phew!

• I was starving!! All the time. I made sure to eat a lot during the day and satisfy all my cravings, but I never ate in the middle of the night in order to make sure my body knew between day and night.

• They say breastfeeding helps with the postpartum blues and weight loss. Yes, both were true for me. I gained 35 pounds during both pregnancies, had a lot of water retention, but I went back more or less to my regular weight after 6 months. When you stop breastfeeding, though everything goes back to normal, the weight adjust and might increase a little and hormones are all over the place, so be gentle with yourself.

• Yes breastfeeding has a lot of benefits, but it’s also ok if you don’t breastfeed. It can be hard for some of us and what babies really need is a happy, thriving and relaxed mom. Most of us 80’s babies have been bottle fed, we got over our colds and we survived!

Additional Resources:

A mix of natural and practical approach:

• What to expect the first year: there is a book and a website, I used this a lot for all my questions.

• Mama natural: The book I read while pregnant (I preferred this one over Nurture)

• The first 40 days: I was not following the Chinese ancestral rules of staying inside your house for 40 days but I loved all the recipes. I still cook some of them today.

• Birth Hypnotherapy app - I tried this technique to keep anxiety in check for my first born and it was a great meditation tool.

Community Support:

• Baby and me yoga classes in Silver lake led by the kindest mom - Juliette Kurth

• Leilove: The best postpartum care you can dream of, if you live in LA.

  I had the chance to enjoy Aleiela’s Abhyanga treatments and nourishing, delicious meals. If, like me, you’re dealing with physical pain, lower back discomfort, or high water retention, this is the most supportive, healing care you can give your body during recovery.

• With.Sisterhood: a great mom community in Topanga led by a friend, Margot, she provides yoga, postpartum and lactation support.

Hope you found some comfort in knowing that whatever you are going through, you are never alone. Somewhere, somehow, somebody feels the same way. Feel free to share with other mamas and share your experience with us, I always love hearing from you!

Much Love,

xxx

Marina

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Part I of this “Motherhood special” was shared last week in case you missed it!

As I write these words, I am actually living one of the hardest months of my “mom life” journey so far, a double toddlerhood chaos: one little tornado, pushing boundaries, with so much energy and a big scoop of dramatic intensity and another one, deep into a major sleep regression, struggling with separation anxiety, and learning to express her feelings—often using her sharp little fingernails. But I try to choose the positive mindset over the negative one even when it’s hard so here is my bright spot: Two loving babies clinging to my legs, shouting "Mama! Mama!" in unison. Love always win.

When it gets tough, I remember that everything is a phase. Some things will get easier, and others will get harder. But the mind is well made, and you quickly forget the challenging times.

Some Hard Moments…

• Waking up to…I am hungry, I want my milk Noooww, ME first, no Meeeee first, and in the green cup only…?…?…Please

• Finish your day like…I will make one hundred naughty things and not listen to one thing you say from 6 pm until 9 pm until you break…

And all the in-between…

• I will NOT get in that car seat… because I Don’t.Want.To.Go.To.School!

• I am going to run around naked and kick the hell out of you if you try to put this tee-shirt on me!

• Yucky! I don’t want to eat this, let me throw it across the kitchen because I can’t stand the sight of it.

• Your food looks more yummy than mine even if it’s the same, “Maman can I have what is on your plate or in your mouth?”’

• I will not SIT STILL at a restaurant, ever, for three years straight maybe four.

• I don’t care if you have to prep lunch, get dressed, and get everyone out the door in 15 minutes because you have to go to work, I NEED you to stop everything right now and CARRY ME forever…

…Sometimes I stop and quietly sob, then I keep going because Moms can’t quit! ❤️

1- Acknowledging Big Feelings

For toddlers, everything is a big deal, and there are so many new emotions to navigate! It’s that age when they can’t quite talk very well yet but have so much to say—and frustration starts to show up strong. Sometimes, they have no choice but to whine, scream, or do any other unreasonable things. I know it’s a normal part of their development, but it is also one of the most exhausting parts of parenting.

Acknowledging their emotions and helping them put those feelings into words, is something I’ve had to learn along the way. Whenever I sense a hard time or a mood I ask them a few questions. The most helpful for me has been “What are you feeling for you to react this way.” They don’t always answer, but it lets them know that they can express themselves if they want to. Often, they just need me to listen and be present, and I do my best to stay right there with them.

• What feelings do when no one is looking: A great book to teach your toddler about all the different emotions.

  

2- Navigating Milestones - The Big Bed

They always have a good reason to feel something deeply. I’ve noticed that as toddlers approach milestones and are having a hard time they often give us cues.

Few things I do to investigate what is going on:

• Rule out anything I know for sure it’s not the cause (physical and emotional)

• Ask them questions even if they cannot talk, and my daughter can nod yes or no, it has been helpful.

• Tell them how it is going to go and reassure them that they got this and that I am here.

Recently, out of the blue, it became impossible to put my 19-month-old daughter to bed. She screamed as soon as I placed her in her crib when she was usually so easygoing and happy at bedtime. I thought it could be teething, congestion, regression, separation anxiety—you name it.

After three sleepless nights of just holding her, it finally clicked! She didn’t want to be in her crib anymore. She wanted to sleep in a big girl’s bed, just like her brother. That night, we took out her crib bars. She was so excited, jumping on her new bed before finally falling asleep on her own, like an angel.

After a few days of thinking, “Okay, we’re back on track,” we went through teething, followed by the worst loop combo you can do to yourself—the middle-of-the-night milk plus parents' bed, because you also need to sleep sometimes! But we’re slowly working our way out of it (happily, but not without effort and consistency), so stay tuned for Sleepless Nights Survival Guide III.

3- Staying Calm and Creative Through the Storm

Yes, having Boundaries with little ones is essential. It provides them with a sense of safety and security and helps them understand how to live all together in harmony.

The hard part is when they test those boundaries daily as a key part of their development, and you need to stay super calm, which is nearly impossible sometimes. I have learned that losing your patience and getting angry is not effective in getting what you want—it usually escalates the bad behavior. It spikes your cortisol levels, putting both of you into a stress response and ends up with a lot of unnecessary screams and tears.

Making progress is what matters: Sometimes, I get angry at them and lose my patience but I always feel ashamed and sad afterward, because I want to be stronger than that, I am the adult right? I have been working on staying calm for as long as I can. Pushing out the moment I will break and sometimes I tell myself to wait a few more minutes, as it will cool off. I usually change rooms to collect myself and take a few deep breaths. If someone is around I ask them to take over.

I felt the heat coming up to me the other day and I thought: “You can get angry and feel bad or you can get creative” so I said to them.

“Ok I am really not happy right now, and my face is getting very hot can you blow on it so it cools off” Guess what? They looked at me and they were like what? Ok, that sounds like a fun thing to do, they started blowing and everyone cooled off.

Time-out variation: Instead of using time-outs in their room (we want to keep that space associated with positive feelings—playing and sleeping) we go to a neutral space, where we can calmly reflect on the behavior together.

My friend Sara, mom of two little boys, shared an inspiring alternative, she asks her kids to go to a quiet spot to change their mood. It’s not punishment; it’s about helping them reset. I tried and it works especially for the whining.

Repair is everything: The love, connection, and security we built through the moments when we recognize our feelings and apologize to one another is the most important part of it all. It’s ok to make mistakes, to get angry and scream we all have our moods but let’s talk about it.

Naughty Bunny Book: It’s nice to know that being naughty sometimes is just a part of being a kid!

Leave a comment

4- Setting Expectations

Babies and toddlers understand everything and it is quite fascinating. Sometimes I wish I could do simple things without having to explain everything or be super patient but I’ve found that transitions go much smoother when I take the time to explain to them what’s coming next. It really helps my kids feel more secure and cooperate when I talk to them.

We got this timer when my son was two and a half and it helps so much during transitions. Waiting for dinner to be ready, playtime, bedtime, bath time, time to go to school, time to get ready etc.

5- The Paci Fairy

My son loved his pacifier and was pretty addicted to it until he was two and a half. I noticed that it seemed to make his whining worse, so one day I just decided it was time to let it go. After reading through different methods, I decided to try the ‘Paci Fairy.’ It worked so well, I wish I’d done it sooner. The key to the Paci Fairy method is to make sure the gift that replaces the pacifier is something Stellar - something they want but wouldn’t usually get (some big plastic/light, sound and water firetruck for example). It was hard for 2 nights but then he was excited to become a big kid.

Bye Bye Blankie: a cute book about letting go or keeping at home our Paci or Blankie as we grow up

I always have a lot of questions about how my kids process things and how should I be reacting. Some great resources that helped me navigate the ups and downs of parenting:

• What to expect- The toddler years: a good book to have handy when you have any questions.

• The Motherhood podcast - Understanding your stress response during difficult situations

• La matrescence podcast- This one is in French, a great mom friend recommendation.

• Dr Becky speaks with MWH: Gentle parenting is not always so easy or natural but knowing the tools is so helpful.

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La Recette Du Jour - One pot Broccoli Mac and Cheese

A recipe for the hard days when we all need comfort and peace.

From the New York Times cooking - An American family favorite - So delicious, 25 minutes and only 4 ingredients.

Ingredients:

• 1 pound elbow pasta

• 1 pound Broccoli chopped

• 2 and 1/2 cups of whole milk

• 2 cups of sharp Cheddar grated

Salt and pepper to taste

Recipe:

In a large skillet, combine the macaroni, broccoli, milk, salt, and garlic powder. Add 3 cups of water, and stir to combine. (The pasta may not be fully submerged. That’s OK!) Bring to an active simmer over medium-high. Reduce the heat to medium to gently simmer. Cook, stirring often to ensure even cooking and to keep things from sticking to the bottom of the pot, until the pasta is tender, and the liquid resembles heavy cream and coats the noodles, 8 to 12 minutes. If the liquid evaporates so much that you don’t see any between noodles, add ½ cup water. Adjust the heat as needed to maintain a gentle simmer.

Take off the heat, stir in the Cheddar at the end, and eat! Miam!

And appreciate the silence :)

Much Love,

xxx

Marina

Every week I receive this parenting French newsletter from Le Monde. This week's topic was the debate on parenting stress in the US and France. In a nutshell, the study shows that in the US 48% of parents feel their stress is overwhelming. In both countries, parents spend more time actively involved in their children’s lives, often sacrificing personal time, leisure, and even sleep. In conclusion, some psychologists advocate for "underparenting," suggesting that parents should allow children to be bored, interact with older relatives, and participate in adult activities, rather than constantly organizing their time.

That’s is exactly why it is also important for us moms to stop feeling guilty about living the life we want!

Things we enjoyed before having kids and that we still do as a family!

• Hosting dinner parties: This is something we have always done pre-kids and it is the best way to see our friends now that we are not going out as often. The one thing I’ll say you need is something to keep the kids busy for a solid four hours without transforming your home into a playground disaster—and it can’t involve screens. It's challenging but doable!

• Hiking: We were big hikers as a couple now instead of doing a 4-hour hike, we do a 1-hour hike. We find easier ones and we bring the kids along. We carry the 18 months old in this Ergo 360 baby carrier on the back so it’s less heavy and our three years old in a Deuter backpack carrier that we got second hand. We stop to pick up wildflowers, smell wild oregano, eat snacks, and climb on rocks. This is one of our favorite weekend family activities. 

• Visiting Museum: It can quickly feel like a mini circus! It’s a challenge to keep the kids from touching everything, speaking at full volume, or turning the exhibit into their playground. But we do our best to teach them how to respect art, space, and others. Often the guards look at us badly, and it is pretty funny. But that’s ok! Art is important to me; it inspires me, and I want to pass it on to my children.

• Traveling: We may travel differently and less frequently now, but we still make it happen! The kids love exploring new places and tasting new flavors. They might not remember every detail because they are so young but it does shape their personality and curiosity. Our travel routine is less organized than at home, but that’s part of the fun! It’s nice to go with the flow, embrace the messiness, and let them experience different cultures.

Things we have to do but that the kids love too:

• Grocery shopping: Whether it’s the farmers market, or at the supermarket, they love to come with me and help pick out ingredients. The one rule I learned is to bring them along already fed or have healthy snacks on hand otherwise it’s really not cool.

• Cooking: My son always really liked cooking and helping in the kitchen so I got him this wooden knife and this step. It takes more time and it’s messy but so much fun for everyone. My daughter is less interested in participating she just likes watching us. His favorite recipes to make often involve the blender - We put all the ingredients in there and Zoooom!!

  La Recette Du Jour - Five Minutes Healthy Pancake Recipe

  Use a blender and mix all this!

  - 1 cup quick Oats

  - 1 egg

  - 1 banana

  - 1 teaspoon of baking soda

  - 1 tablespoon of chia seeds

  -1/2 cup of milk. We use regular whole milk but any type works. Add a little more if it is too sticky, you want a smooth consistency.

  Sometimes we add frozen blueberries.

  

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New things we do since we have kids and that I secretly enjoy too:

• Going to Zoos and aquariums.

• Discover insect fairs and all other weird local events.

• Visit botanical gardens and beautiful parks.

• Ride small trains and funiculars, often.

• Go to seasonal and local community events to share food, art, or music.

• Enjoy the marionette theaters.

It’s fun to learn about all these new things. Looking at the world through my kids' eyes has just been pure joy. When the simplest events are magical for them, it is so rewarding and grounds you in what truly matters.

Things we do less now:

• Going out to restaurants and bars: Only if it's a kid-friendly spot with plenty of space for them to move around without disturbing the entire dining room! Let’s be honest, they can’t sit still yet, and it’s no fun getting up every few minutes, spilling drinks everywhere, and worrying about leaving a tornado of crumbs while trying to enjoy a meal. It can be a hit or miss.

• Late night dancing parties… sigh... There’s no worse feeling than being hungover and having to wake up at 6:30 a.m. ready to roll with the kids. It still happens, but maybe a few times a year and only for a major event. These days, I’ve traded in the late nights for early evening living room dance sessions with the kids :)

• Unplanned last minute gateway weekends…

Things we do for them but don’t necessarily enjoy:

• School kids’ birthday parties: Don’t get me wrong I love going to friends’ birthdays! But every weekend? That’s crazy. When you’re getting invited to 25 school birthday parties, that’s where I draw the line. I’ve cut it down to just my kid’s close friends, because honestly, at this age, it’s a bit much. Right?

• Local playgrounds: I genuinely love to see my children play in their imaginary world, blow fake candles, and laugh while scooting, but we spend so much time at the playground! Thankfully I have two within walking distance so we can switch it up... Also, we often go alone so the other parent can take a break so sometimes it's boring and repetitive! The entire time, I have to make sure they don’t bump their heads, get kidnapped, throw sand in someone’s eyes, eat an old candy stuck to the bench, touch chipmunks poop, or fight over someone’s cool toy. And make this double the fun with two kiddos running in opposite directions. And then, of course, there are the older kids—doing all the things I tell mine not to do. My son just stares at them, then looks back at me, waiting for my disapproving face :)

I am curious to know what are the pre-kid activities you are still hanging onto, have some of them evolved into new family traditions?

Much Love,

xxx

Marina

I have just finished reading this short and fun parenting book, “The Three Martini Playdate” and how refreshing it was! I love how straightforward the author is and her humor.

I believe, like the author, in raising your kids to be kind, independent, polite, and curious about life. Don’t be afraid to set healthy boundaries and say no when needed! It is not always easy or perfect but that’s the goal. This will help you enjoy life. It will empower them to be confident, adapt to an ever-changing world, and thrive on their own.

Back home in France, we believe that becoming a family doesn’t mean you have to give up on your friendships, personal needs, hobbies or work. It’s quite common to include your kids in all aspects of your life and bring them along. This approach ensures that your life remains balanced and enjoyable, as you adapt to the responsibilities of parenthood.

So, you don’t have to stop being YOU to have a family.

The truth is, in France, there’s much more support compared to America, especially in healthcare and education. In the U.S., having a child is very expensive, and it becomes even harder if you want to keep your career and not become a stay-at-home mom. This is a real struggle for many of us.

Some questions I have asked myself and tried to answer honestly.

Can we have it all as mums?

Yes, I think we can. Even in this crazy modern society where we are asked to be all the things at once : A mother on top of everything else. For me, the most important thing is to keep doing the things that make me happy. The kids benefit from a happy mom, refreshed, and available for them. Acknowledging the days with and the days without with no judgment.

• Shift things around: I work full-time and it’s often challenging to juggle everything, I truly believe in letting go of perfection and embracing what feels right for you. Recently I have been listening to a podcast that I love and recommend. In this episode,  I relate to Marie Forleo's insight:  if you’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed, it’s a sign that something is out of alignment and needs adjustment to make life more enjoyable and simpler. I do this exercise of shifting things around and trying new things all the time to see what works best for us as our kids grow up and their needs evolve. Flexibility and adaptation have been key to my happiness. As a new mom, it’s easy to get frustrated with all the changes, but after three years, I can finally say that it does get much better.

• Set boundaries: I try to set healthy boundaries at work to align my hours with my mom's lifestyle. When I’m home and the kids are here, I’m fully present with them and enjoy this quality time. I balance my job with mom's duties—packing lunches, doing laundry, planning for school events, and organizing life tasks like doctor’s appointments and vacations. I aim to keep things simple to make life more manageable and enjoyable.

• Get support: The truth is that we all need help, you can’t do it all alone. I do encourage you to weigh in the pros and cons very well and not give up on your dreams. Things will always change and you might need different kind of support at different times. For us it was our nanny at a crucial moment of my career when I needed the most support and so grateful for this privilege as it has enabled me to get a job that I enjoy today. We are on our own today as both kids go to preschool full time. But because our families are far away it is hard some days to get a breather. We got to be very creative as a family and still carve out quality time, so everyone gets a much-needed break. – See further below our schedule system for sharing parenting duties.

How can we manage to do it all without being exhausted all the time?

Well first, isn’t exhaustion part of being a parent? I think no matter how much “Me time” you get, parenting is just exhausting. Caring for others is hard, children, elderly, anyone with special needs…That is why having other activities helps with mental exhaustion. Getting a pause, fresh air, or any other type of stimulation even if it is for 30 minutes a day. For me, it has been a vital part of parenting that I prioritize even when I am feeling exhausted. Honestly, I am looking forward for my kids to make their own breakfast in the morning!

Having kids changes your daily routine and profoundly shifts things, but I believe for the best. My kids made me a better human in so many ways and I seek to be better for them daily. I have less freedom, and I need to plan things a little more, but I have a happier and healthier life. I go to bed early, wake up early, drink more water and prioritize time for the things I enjoy. I also care less about the noise around me and focus on the things that matter.

A few tips that work for us to keep living the life we want!

1 -Get organized and Prioritize

Don’t stop doing the things you love just because you think you can’t do it. There’s not much you can’t do with your kids, and when bringing them along isn’t an option, arrange some childcare (babysitter, friend, family, kids club…)

• Share Your Hobbies: Whether it’s drawing, yoga, hiking, cooking, or gardening, I involve my kids. They love it, and we enjoy quality time together. It’s a win-win.

• Make Mundane Tasks Enjoyable: I usually do house chores with my kids, it’s fun for them and makes it more enjoyable for me. Patience is key, as it sometimes takes longer, but it’s worth it. I involve them in laundry, cooking, cleaning, and grocery shopping. Each night, they help tidy their room, even if it’s just picking up one toy, repetition is so important for them to implement a habit. A clean environment is the key to happiness and a good night's sleep. My 3-year-old even enjoys loading the dishwasher now!

• Get It Done When and Where You Can: I put on top of the list the things I need to do to clear some free time and headspace. Everything admin, school, weekly organization, birthday gifts, online shopping.  For every boring stuff, I just stick it in 5 min whenever I can so it’s out of my way! I get it done during transition times while commuting, at lunchtime, or at night once the kids are gone to bed but only if it is really urgent. I keep a list of “To Do” on my phone notes and arrange them by categories (school/home/work/misc) and classify them from the most to least urgent.

• Early Mornings: I Prioritize what makes me feel good so I can be a better mom, more present and available when I am with the kids. For me it's quiet time by myself before I start the day. I rearranged my life so I could fit that time in without compromising quality time with them. I made space for myself in the mornings. I am waking up at least 30 min to 1 hour earlier than them to find that quiet. The mornings work better for me as by 8:30 pm when they finally go to bed, I am truly exhausted…

• Quiet Hours for Independent Play: Use early mornings and nap times for independent play. This moment of peace is sacred in our household - I keep this time for anything I enjoy and makes me happy and whatever I am in the mood for that day, making art, reading a book, or nap. If I can and someone is home to watch the kids, I will also use that time to go out - Go to the ceramic studio, a yoga class, a massage, go to the pool down the street, any activity that I am not able to bring the kids along. When they are not in the mood of being by themselves or napping, which happens! I bring them along in my activities but quietly, usually reading or drawing so they know we should respect this time because others might want to rest.

  

2- Sharing parenting duties

My partner and I set up a great schedule for sharing responsibilities, and it has really changed our lives.

It has been a great tool for our survival on this parenting journey, helping us not feel overwhelmed but instead feel like we’re a team, and both of us are supported.

On a simple piece of paper we have a weekly “On duty” schedule divided into morning and evening routines, pick-ups and drop-offs and the same goes for the weekend. So that both of us can enjoy some me time, sports, drinks with friends, movies, hobbies …It’s up on our fridge so we can access it easily.

It doesn’t mean we have to to do something or go out, but during the times we know we’re not "on duty." It really helps free up some mental space.

We've changed our routines and schedules many times to adapt to different phases of life, but we've always made sure to divide our time fairly. If one of us feels something isn't working, we take a quiet moment to sit down and review the entire schedule together. We check in and make adjustments so that it works well for both of us.

Example: I am a morning person, I need time to walk, exercise, get fresh air, write, and think at least 2/3 mornings a week therefore I am off duty some mornings for 1 hour, but instead I do all school drop-offs.

3- Sleep

There is not really a secret recipe , but prioritizing restorative sleep for the full family is the only way to manage my full-time job, caring for two little ones, and enjoying life. The first thing that made my life so much more enjoyable is getting to bed early—around 9:30 pm with a good book—so I can wake up at 6 a.m.

• Learn to Know Your Body: I need at least 7 hours of sleep to function well and to have the energy to do it all. A good night sleep is also great to keeping stress at bay. Before summer, I was truly exhausted and had tension headaches. I went to the doctor and learned that I was not sleeping properly. I was waking up several times a night for no reason (anxiety probably) and not getting enough deep sleep. I did 2 things that helped me to get back to a good restorative sleep: Cut down on caffeine and avoided any screens after 8:30 pm. Instead pick up a book, herbal tea and unwind. It worked!

• Establish a simple and consistent bedtime routine since early on: a bath, a couple of books, a sleep sack, then lights out with the Hatch lamp. After a long cuddle and a final milk feed, I sing our little bedtime song before placing them in the crib or bed, drowsy but still awake. Putting a toddler to bed is similar but can be more challenging and will have to be a whole chapter!

• Patience, Consistency, Reassurance, Love, Cuddles, and Laughter are our winning combination. Sometimes I would tickle them or make them laugh in their bed before sleep when they seem grumpy, and it works! My daughter falls asleep easily on her own. My son, however, struggled more after turning 18 months, and becoming more aware of his surroundings, especially when traveling. Now older, he sometimes gets scared and wants me nearby. I go in as needed to reassure him and help him build his confidence, but never engaged into a big sleep production. Some days are tougher, and that’s okay. He has been liking this book recently Bedtime for Frances. It is about what can be scary in a room and has helped him.

I never used sleep training methods or the cry-it-out approach. If they cried, I’d let them for just a few minutes only if I knew all their needs were met, most of the times they settle on their own quickly unless they need something or are feeling unwell. We made sure they fell asleep feeling safe and secure in their own beds.

These are some lifestyle tips that I naturally turned to, and they’ve worked for us. I hope you find some of them useful, too! What lifestyle changes have brought you joy and made your life easier as a parent?

All this got me thinking…

There are so many opinions and judgments on ways of doing it.

But there is no single "right" way to raise children, whether in France or elsewhere. As parents, we adjust to changing standards and shape our approach to fit our family's needs and values. Different parenting styles show how society is evolving, reminding us that raising kids is about personal choices as much as it is about cultural influences.

Two reads I liked this week:

• An interesting piece on positive parenting versus setting boundaries

• Vogue 9 to 5 with a cool mom:Jemima Kirke

In Part II - I will be exploring all the thing that I keep doing with the kids, the things that I stopped doing, the new things that I do and that I secretly enjoy and all the things that I wish I didn’t have to do!

Much Love,

xxx

Marina